Mich Saelee

• What is your personal definition of home? What experiences have influenced/continue to influence and shape your understanding of home, belonging, and safety? Are there any core memories? (this can be a time/event, a place/location, an item, a tradition/way of knowing etc)

I believe that what “home” is greatly varies from person to person. Personally I think that home is a feeling. The feeling of comfort and familiarity, knowing that you are safe and not in any sort of danger. Growing up I’ve always felt unsafe in the place where I live. I’ve always had a tumultuous relationship with at least one person living in my house if not multiple. Once I got my own room and space, that was when I began to conceptualize “home” more. For the longest time I wouldn’t let anyone into my room because it was my only true safe space- It was the only place where I didn’t have to keep any secrets. Home for me is where I can be comfortable and open about myself; my room, my friends, and (some of) my family.

• What particular place(s) do you feel at home, deeply connected and safe at?

Aside from the obvious, I'll name some more unconventional places.

There is a specific restaurant that I go to called Sweetie's. Its a cute little diner and I go there a lot with my close friends. Although I would say I'm not in their target demographic, I love going there because it's always a really relaxing experience and I have shared a lot of conversations there. This is a more recent development, but I've never been tied more to a restaurant. 

Another place I feel strangely connected to is the Wing Wa market here in Sacramento. Wing Wa has always been a landmark for me. I used to travel a lot to Merced with my family and we would always stop by Wing Wa on the way there and back. Whenever I walk into the store and I'm hit all at once with the heavy smell of incense, the faces that aren't 99% white, the people that remind me of my grandma, and the cheap toys made oversees that smell like they've been sitting there for 20 years.

• What parts of your personal/family/collective histories help you feel grounded in (or disconnected to) your idea and understanding of home? - When/if you feel disconnected to your cultural community, where do you go and/or what do you do to feel safe and accepted?

My understanding of home doesn't involve my family as much because ever since I recognized my beliefs and identity don't align with my parents, I've severed that connection. I didn't do this consciously of course. Reflecting back on it, this happened around 7th grade for me. I think I responded this way as a coping mechanism. Instead of building my idea of home around my parents, I found my definition of home through finding like minded people and sharing my experiences with them.

• What aspects of your identity do you feel most connected to? - What parts feel the most challenging to feel connected to and how does this impact your understanding of home and belonging?

I feel more connected to my queer side more. I think its because there are more resources for self discovery and dealing with queerness. I struggle being connected to my Mien side. I really want to be connected to it, however I don't have anyone that is in the community deep enough to learn from. I also worry that because I am not traditional in any sense that older Mien people would turn me away because of my queerness.

• Time isn’t linear–spiritually speaking, we carry our ancestors and descendants with us everyday. How do you hope to contribute to the healing, growth, and transformation of your people’s collective understanding of home, place, and belonging? Through your art, how do you hope to help your ancestors and descendants find home and feel + know safety?

I hope that through my art I can express solidarity and community. I hope that I can make something that others will look at and go "hey! I've had a similar experience." By talking about our issues and experiences and making implicit assumptions explicit, we will be able to continue healing and bring growth to our communities.

• What role does art/creativity play in your life? Is this connected to your journey of belonging? If yes, how?

Art has always played a role of escapism and processing for me. When i write a new song or when I make a new drawing it also gives me the time to process my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It is connected to my journey of belonging because it allows me to reflect on myself and think through who I want to be.

• What is one dream you have for your community?

I have a dream of forming stronger community and letting the generation after continue to thrive and build on it.

• How has this project influenced your understanding of community, belonging, home and/or safety?

This project allows me to hear similar but vastly different perspectives from my own. Mien people, Southeast-Asian people, Queer people, Queer Southeast-Asian people are not a monolith and shouldn't be treated as such. I've had a problem with this in the past and having a community where our issues, dreams, ideals, and beliefs are at the forefront, not suppressed, allows me to actually recognize we aren't a monolith- rather than just seeing it on paper.

• After this project, what's next? Is there anything on your horizon or forthcoming for you as an artist/storyteller?

I hope to write more music and participate in events where I can continue to share my stories. Although life gets in the way of creative endeavors, I will find a way.

• How can people learn more about you and keep up with your work?

You can find me at @michsaeleemusic on Instagram. Along with that I regularly update my site (sites.google.com/view/michsaelee) with anything new I'm apart of.